Sunday, September 4, 2016

How Does It Happen?

How Does It Happen?

Just doing week-end chores, stopping at grocery store and a couple of strip-mall joints.  Hardware store, etc..  So many – so many of my fellow American citizens have become yuge!!  Not just a little bit, but absolutely massive mounds of human flesh on the hoof.  Wa-a-ay beyond big-boned.  Nearly eight out of ten are easily over the 250 lbs limit a lot of lawn furniture states right on the stickers. 

I’m sure when these products were designed and prototyped in China and elsewhere, they were tested and the rest of the world just assumed 250 American pounds, was way past any conceivable need.  Can’t you just hear these 125 lb Chinese engineers and factory managers saying, “250 lbs, that’s 113.4 Kg!  Nobody weighs over 100Kg,  113 oughta be heavy enough.”  Well, dudes, ya gotta come over here and just take a look.  115kg is not out of sight in the U.S.A. any longer.

And this is not any kind of evolutionary adjustment,  It’s not   like   people are just getting taller, so the lower body has gotten bigger.  I admit I am short for an American male, about two inches under the average.  So generally a lot of Americans are as tall or taller than I am, and that hasn’t changed.  Say all seem to have stayed at about the same eye level.  They have just become so wide, two of them cannot walk side by side down a store ailse.

People in the thirties are using those little electric carts to get around SuperMarts.  Bodies are massive, but their faces don’t look all that old.  Their eyes seem to be getting smaller, more embedded pig-like­ in the midst of baby fat that never went away?  I find myself opening doors for disabled people who have got to be my junior by no less than 20 years!  I do not mind at all being courteous to those physically challenged, or whatever, it’s my pleasure and moral duty to do this, but still …?

I really can’t see this as any kind of body shaming.  If a person is born genetically short or super tall, large framed or exceedingly slight … fine.  Hey, ya’r what ya’r.  No big deal, that’s great – diversity and all that.  I had a roommate in college who was 6’8”.  And, really big boned.  Really kind of a giant.  Very nice person, we’re still friends.  He weighed in at maybe 300 lbs..  But he wasn’t at all what you call fat.  He was just really big.

But if you’re 5’8” or 10” and obviously have a regular bone structure, 400 lbs is a bit over the limit – maybe.  Butts the size of ripe watermelons.  Not a watermelon, but two full sized ready for market ripe watermelons – well, time to lay off the pizza and chocolate croissants.  It is not healthy to be 35 years old and have to triple-turn to get out of your car door.  To be 40 and have to grab an electric cart in the parking lot to get to the door of the store, even before you start go-carting around in the product aisles.  Then to have two or three little blobs (children) running behind whining that they have to walk while you ride. 

Sigh … … …
When I walk down the parking lot and I nearly get run over by some enormous pile of person (one person) who has one fist full of some kind of whopper-burger in one hand and their cell phone in the other, also juggling some bucket sized drink, well – I get annoyed.  What are you steering that two ton steel monster with???  I mean, ker-rist, put one of those ham sized hands on the steering wheel – just maybe?  Only a polite suggestion, really.

Thing is, I have to go to the health club, or Fitness Center as they are called these days.  No less than three days a week, I must go there, because two of my Doctors keep telling me I really need to do this.  Sure I’m packing about ten extra pounds, but I am also 70 years old and my metabolism has almost nearly stopped.  Two oatmeal raisin cookies and I seem to gain a pound.  If I don’t weigh myself every time I go to the Fitness Center and force myself to burn off 500 or so calories, I’d get massive like that too.  In just a couple weeks, I can gain 20 pounds these days, if I don’t do my best to work off what I eat.

Since I don’t have any fields to plow, horses to curry or sheep to round up (or shepard, I guess), as most – like 95% of us, I gotta get on some dumb machine and ride ten miles to nowhere, or row ten miles on a dry floor.  My pants get tight if I eat two donuts two days in a row.  How, on earth, does anybody get to the point where they a seatbelt extension on an airplane – without noticing it!  When you haven’t seen your genitals without a mirror in   like   a year!  Doesn’t that set off any alarms in your sense of vanity.  Or, even sense of dignity.

When a standard chair at Starbucks will not contain 50% of your butt, maybe you don’t need that 475 calorie frappe-dappa-chino with four squirts of vanilla hazelnut syrup and four inches of whipped cream on top.  With a 400 calorie chocolate croissant on the side.  Right there you’re surpassing the daily, maybe weekly, allowance of calories of most Third World children.  AND, for most Americans, that’s just a snack between meals.

If you’re forced to buy larger clothes every six months, my compatriots, hey!  You are just eating too much of the wrong foods.  You’re killing the Health System Insurance.  Friends, Medical Science is amazing these days.  It has saved my life because of my bipolarism.  It really can’t save your life if your heart just craps out at 45 because it has not evolved enough to do double or triple the job is was designed (by nature) to do.  Medical Science can prolong your life by 20 years over just three generations ago, but damn!  It’s not Miracle Science, it’s Medical Science.  I think you’re confused.

Take a hint.  If every birthday you have to tell your friends to add an extra “X” to the gifts clothes they get for you, then … well … maybe … something is happening?

Thank you Dear Reader and Joy be unto you.


dalepeterson.us

Just published  “Twelve Roses for Kathy – A journey on a motorcycle out of the darkness of bipolar disorder”



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