SUICIDE!!! Let’s Talk … Chapter 1

SUICIDE!!!  Let’s Talk … Chapter 1

Calm down … stay calm … don’t panic… !!!  ???

It’s time, dear readers, it’s time to talk (talk) about suicide.  I mean really.  After the recent case of the young woman who talked her boyfriend into killing himself – and was convicted!  She could get 20 years in prison – for what was actually emailing and texting with an already very troubled young man.

Let me repeat that.  She texted him to, basically, go through with a plan and method he already had in process.  She was 17 when she hooked up with this guy and 19 when she talked (encouraged) him to finish what he had started.  Just over 20 when she was convicted of “aiding and abetting a homicide”.  The precise details are not as important as our cultural attitude towards the whole topic; as in the concept of killing yourself (suicide).

How does a 19 year old girl have any concept of what it means to end your own life?  How do any of us, no matter the age, really understand the depth of despair that any human brain can inflict on itself when its chemistry is fucked up?  As a species, even with all of the extreme science we have at our fingertips, we still cannot truly fathom what is truly amiss – to such a drastic degree – in a given unique brain.  AND, we still refuse to use the word, suicide, in context in polite (?) conversation.  Just using the word suicide in conversation can (can) have legal consequences.

#killed himself – took her own life – ended it – etc.  We have a word for the start of life – birth (accepting this as independence, or separation, from the mother’s body).  We have a word for creating your death – suicide.  The first, a joyous occasion, we really have no control over, and the second we have determined is a terrible act.  ???

Always study history.  The long range history, anthropologically speaking, suicide is not, by a set standard, considered to be bad, or evil, or even wrong.  In many societies, to support the continuation of that group, taking your self out, when you became too old or infirm to aid in the maintenance of the group, was what you were expected to do.  Take the long walk out onto the ice or in the desert – whatever.  In some societies if you were guilty of committing an act that put some type of horrible shame on your family – ceremoniously gutting yourself was the honorable expectation.

Where things get weird is when religion gets into the mix.  Suicide in support of the groups survival is proper.  Suicide to demonstrate respect and honor for the groups determined moral code is proper.  Bring in some supernatural spirit that is supposedly responsible for creating life, puts a terrible negative spin on everything.  Even in the face of physiological defect within the brain itself, or when a particular brain is so damaged that rational thought and behavior is extremely skewed, suicide is held to be the ultimate wrong-doing.  Or, even when you don’t really know what you are doing, you are NOT supposed to do that.

So, what is my personal stand on suicide?  Frustratingly I find this issue is far more complex than most people want to listen to, read about or even consider.  My first wife committed suicide.  In a deep depression she found a rifle and put a bullet through her own brain.  This was many years before Mental Illness was even on the map.  In essence, at that time, there weren’t many treatment options available.  Almost none.  Medical Science only had a few drugs to help and most of those came with very severe side effects.  Very severe side effects – like hair loss and general stupefaction (just made the afflicted into drooling morons).  She had witnessed this and the side effects when her own mother had had the same problem.  She chose not to take that path.

A friend of mine wrote on his Facebook page, the other day, “the miracle might happen tomorrow”.  Things might just get worse tomorrow for a person – sure, that could happen.  OR, “the miracle might happen”, things could take an unexpected positive direction.  I believe, whenever possible, remembering this very simple theory can push away, at least some of, the clouds. 

One of my mother’s sisters, a college friend, my current wife’s sister – all took their own lives.  All of the elements that came together such that they made the decisions they made resulted in an action that cannot be judged by anyone else – morally.  And, the resulting consequences on family members and friends, it would seem, have very little baring on that decision at the moment of action – pulling the trigger, stepping off the stool or ledge of a high bridge. 

In truth, the miracle could happen tomorrow, it could also happen within the next five minutes of this writing or reading.  In my life 90, or even 180 degree turns have happened with a single phone call, letter, email – even a text these days.  At the darkest moment you cannot see even a glimmer of light, if your eyes are closed.  And, that is my answer.

Stop Shoveling

Stop Shoveling

There is a saying that’s making the rounds, “If you’re the one in the hole, stop shoveling!” 

This seems to be where we are, pretty much, as a species – right now.  That is, we have allowed ourselves to become complacent and, well, just kind of stupid.  Let’s not get into the obvious and simple politics of it all, because that is actually easy to work out– easy to solve those problems.  Or, when you go to the polls (which everyone should do, every chance they get) just don’t vote for the idiots.  Who are easy to spot.  They look stupid.  They answer questions with non-answers and redirection. 

Newscaster:  “How’s the weather where you are Governor?”

Governor being interviewed:  “I just don’t know why we have to keep Handicap Parking Spaces.”

Ummm ,,,  okay …  Now, who would actually vote for that idiot?  Well, someone who chose to be stupid, for one.  Yes, dear readers, there are many humans out there, walking around breathing and stuff, who do chose to be stupid AND to remain stupid, all their lives.  Not ignorant, which actually is more accurately defined as “being without knowledge”.  A person can be ignorant of certain scientific facts, and yet not be stupid.  Once they chose to learn those facts, as it were, then they are no longer ignorant of said facts.  And, they can chose to act on the basis of now improved knowledge.

Let’s say one of those facts is, “The deeper a hole is, the harder it is to get out of that hole.”  Just a bit of a fact.  You find yourself in a hole and you want to get out of that hole.  If you chose to not learn the facts about deep holes, then you are stupid and will, most likely, die in that hole.  If you vote for someone who makes things worse, do not be stupid and vote for them twice. 

To become truly learned is a bit scary.  When I used to ski race, we used to say, “If you look at the trees, you will run into the trees.”  It is very natural to look at the thing you do not want to hit.  So, you have to learn to look at the spaces between the trees.  When a person is running for a political office, a position that will affect your life, you must learn to not run into the trees.  You must learn that digging a deeper hole, will not get you out of that hole.  You must learn to not get into a debate about Parking Spaces, when the question was about the weather.

Any Medical Doctor will tell you that if you don’t exercise and use your body, muscles deteriorate, some will even atrophy.  The human brain is a highly sophisticated organ that evolved from what is muscle tissue.  Lots of theories, some of which are beginning to look more like facts, have arisen from this notion, as it were.  Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are primarily genetic, but memory loss and fuzzy thinking are acquired conditions.  Or, stop learning and you will begin to become simply stupid.  Why continue to dig yourself in deeper?    

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Note: for the brave among my dear readers, I offer a new, separate but different blog:

Equations for the Joyous Mind

A study in a matter of theory and conjecture about human brain-mind development towards retaining ever increasing meta-cognitive development.  Based on Mathematics, and I refer to Base 3 Calculus. I wouldn’t expect a whole lot of people to give it a try.  But if you are in any manner open-minded and intellectually curious, the Math used is truly only a tool to condense the theory proposed. 

Just published  “Twelve Roses for Kathy – A journey on a motorcycle out of the darkness of bipolar disorder”