The Wonder, The Wonderful
My last few blogs have been rather dark, I admit. “After the dark comes the light” … somebody famous and probably really wise and intelligent has already said that in, most likely, a more poetic form. And, I heartily agree. It always does. It is a hard concept to accept when people find themselves in the dark. Especially the really darkest dark. Sometimes it seems like that darkness will never end,
And, I have found it very true that it does seem to get just a bit darker just before the dawn – just immediately prior to the sun breaking over the horizon. Sort of like the sun is sucking up light, like a battery recharging, just before it creeps up and goes “Ta-Dah!!” – here I am boychiks and girlchicks. “Let’s get going todos personnas.”
“Another great day ahead – ta-Dah!!.”
And, he’s thinking, “I am somethin’ special! Lookit mee-eee! I am the SUN! Light and warm everywhere! Where else ya gonna git thet?”
So the day begins – and each of us has the choice to make it something special – or not. Let’s be fair, too. It is a choice. It is also true, very true, that some of us do, sort of, have to make an inventory of the sichiashun (situation). Like, ”Okay. It’s another morning and I feel like shit – again. But, 1. Is that the residual of the sleep medication? 2. Am I going to feel different after I take my other medications my Doctor says I have to take? Yeah, give it about an hour and I know I’ll feel better. 3. So what do I do first? I have to eat something or the meds will make me sick. 4. So eat, then meds, then some caffeine … may decaf this morning. 5. Already, a decision!”
Kinda like that. Every morning! Still, I have to remember every one of us has their own set of challenges starting a new day. Mine are small, insignificant really, compared to probably 90% of the global population. Sure, I have a neural challenge, my brain is kinda cracked because my skull was physically cracked several times – along with other shit that happened. BUT (once again) I’m still breathin’. I still have the use of all of my limbs, digits and senses. I’m old, but I’m not busted, broke or fragile.
And, that’s a wonder and what is wonderful is that, after all this time, and there has been a lot of that (time, I mean) is that I can still say that! Since I was twelve years old, I have worked nearly every single day. “Big deal.” Some might say. “Everybody should have to work.” Yeah, yeah … maybe that’s true. Even when I was on vacation, which was so rare, I can recount almost every single day I was supposedly on vacation.
When I was younger, a young father, I had to drive hundreds of miles. I had to look after my children first; keep them safe, keep them from breakin’ too much stuff I either had to fix or pay for. I had to do what my wife told (she would say “asked”) me to do. “Stop here, turn there or change the radio station.” Something, never really had “time off.” None of it matters really.
I fell in love with creating Art, when I was also twelve. Just all I wanted to do, was make things. Was totally focused on that joyous feeling of taking an idea straight out of my brain and making it real for everyone else to see. Well, I didn’t really care about that. I could see it and just looking at the stuff I made and realizing that, “I made that. With my own hands, I made that!” And, “It didn’t exist before and NOW there it is!.” It was a wonder to me and it made me feel wonderful!
I was so young when I discovered this. I just didn’t know how much our American culture didn’t care. Not to go into all that, but being an Artist was and remains still something weird in this country that is known for our ability to innovate and invent. Still, I didn’t know I would have to face that challenge my whole life … at that time when I discovered Art. It is wonderful that I was ignorant of all that.
It was wonderful that my parents only encouraged me to pursue my Art. Never one word of discouragement, or “How are you going to make any money doing that? How are you gonna git a job?” None of that. So I wound up spending most of my life making Art. And, I wound up working at it every single day! For over 58 years. Hundreds of thousands of drawing, paintings, pieces of pottery, pieces of sculpture and on and on. “wa-hoo! For you.” Some of you, dear readers, might be saying.
The wonder of it, is that every day I knew I could make that choice; i.e. to make new stuff straight outa my brain, my imagination. Along the way I did a lot of other stuff, yes. I did my time in the Army. I worked as a fry cook, a janitor, a dishwasher in a restaurant; I mowed lawns and delivered newspapers. I taught school and designed furniture, houses and even a library in CAD – all of which were built and people are walking around in them today. “Wa-hoo!” again.
So, despite having been cracked in the noggin’ hard several times and surviving a number of really traumatic personal tragedies. Despite learning to live with what can be a continuous state of nightmares going on in the back of my brain. The majority of days, I can say, “Life is a wonder. And if I just do what I do, it will be wonderful."
So, I say, “Live, love and do jazz hands!”