Today, Tomorow; There Is No Yesterday

Today, tomorrow; There Is No Yesterday

It is snowing quite heavily.  Visibility is maybe twenty feet.  And, I find myself going into full-on panic mode.  

I attempt to override, damp down this heavily rising anxiety.

I find I can think about tomorrow and stay pretty much stable and on-task with what I am doing today.  I make a valiant effort not to think, or plan, beyond tomorrow.  And, I find I have to limit any ambitions beyond what I must do today and I what I might do tomorrow.  “Might do tomorrow” is the best I can tolerate today.

This method, or maybe “concept” (philosophy) seems to bring my heart rate down and ease my panicky breathing.  When the mind starts to deteriorate, or succumb to a previous trauma occurring to the brain, for me, at least, I must take over.  Consciously, I must take steps to bring the whole thing under control.

And, that means within what is happening, or going on, right now, today, is NOT a forever thing.  Just because something triggers my panic anxiety mode right now, does not mean it will not go away.  I find there are two things that affect my life quality in the moment.  The first, and most damning and damaging, is to dwell on the past.  To allow all of my many big life mistakes to start looping through my mind; big big big mistake.  I have to force my thinking to just put a block on that.  The past is a ghost. It is gone.  It is fable. There is no yesterday.

There is only today and a vagueness on the horizon that might become tomorrow.  This not to say that goals for good, better or improvement, which will possibly require some work, some hard focused effort, are not possible.  They just have to be set and worked toward incrementally.  

“I need to get to a place (whatever achievement).  And, first I need to get this thing done.  Then, that thing done.  And so on, until I get my desired goal accomplished.”

“I can move any obstacle in my path.  First I find a fulcrum, then I find a lever and with concentrated effort, I can move that obstacle out of my path.”

The many things that have been said by many great and mindful minds, are mostly true and good.  “Day by day.” “One foot in front of the other.” “Love yourself.” They just need to put into practice, become a mantra and held like a beloved child.

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