NO WiFi? Well then, I'm Leaving!

NO WiFi?  Well then, I’m leaving!

Talk about spoiled.  As a rule most of us are overweight, no longer read anything longer than maybe a short Comment on Facebook, if a cute picture of a puppy or a cat is included.  Possibly a 140 character Tweet if it’s a Celebrity.

If we’re really sophisticated we might get a nice Art print at Ikea.  If we’re not and there’s a stain on the wall at home, we might get some kind of print (in a premade frame) at Walmart. 

We drive-by (or drive-thru, depending on what part of the country you’re from and the misspelling is because we’re so lazy we can’t spell drive-through) to get our junk food snacks, coffee, bank transactions, prescriptions drugs, beer and liquor.  In New York and other large urban areas you can place an order for your groceries on-line, go to the drive-by (drive-thru) and they will put them in your car for you.  Dry cleaners and laundry.  And none of these things require a high income.  This is not an economical restricted activity; that is to drive-by (drive-thru) to get your shit.  In fact we get really pissed off, if that’s not an option.  We might not use it, we might go inside and sit down for our coffee or junk food, but they better have the option to drive-by (drive-thru) or it’s on to the place that does.

Then there is wifi.  Oh how we have become addicted to wifi.  Just like the drive-by, wifi has become something Americans view as a right.  At first all of the sit-down coffee shops and junk food places tried to charge for wifi.  The big telecom companies saw a way to pick pennies out of our pockets – by the fistful – through all kinds of tricks.  Then some of the bigger franchises got smart and saw they could get people to stay longer and buy more coffee and shit food if they gave away free wifi connection.

Now free wifi is available in libraries, for those few people who do read.  It’s so commonly available we don’t think about it.  Even on airplanes, during a flight (but it ain’t free and I’m wondering when people are going to start choosing airlines on the basis of free wifi or not). On my last airline flight it was fifteen dollars an hour.  Fifteen friggin bucks an hour!  It was a long flight too and no Internet really pissed me off.  And now they don’t show any free movies on airplanes. 

I get the Washington Post and The New York Times on-line.  I have over a hundred books on a tablet reader, which they make me turn off (and stow under the seat) until the plane reaches its cruising altitude.  I do enjoy the heft of real books.  Turning the pages.  The whole idea of a real book is a pleasure to me.  I just don’t like that heft when it’s in my briefcase or backpack/luggage.  It’s heavy.

I’m old enough to remember vividly when none of all this technology had shrunk the world to the size of a cocktail party.  It would take several week long mail exchanges to set up a telephone call with my brother in Australia.  And then the sound was scratchy and intermittent.  Now I can call him, the sound is great and I can see his face on-screen and he can see me. 

No, I’m sorry but – no wifi and I’m outta there.