Indiana Jones and the Men's Locker Room

Indiana Jones and the Men’s Locker Room

Some years ago when the movie “Indiana Jones and the Ark of the Covenants” came out, I went to see it, of course.  Wasn’t that a legal American requirement?  Everybody HAD to go see “Indiana Jones” or you weren’t allowed to vote?  For most people I think all the “actions scenes” were the whole purpose of those movies.  They were pretty spectacular after all the “Star Wars” stuff, except Indiana was on the ground and more kind of real … had to be something like that.

For me the one scene that stood out and stuck in my mind was the one where that Nazi bad guy shows up in the tent out in the desert.  The bad guy that picked up the medallion and burnt the shit out of his hand (which was very cool).  I love it when the bad guys do something like that.  It’s like instant karma for being a shithead.

So there in the tent, in the desert is the French archeologist and Karen Black and in comes this creepy Nazi with his creepy minions.  They are in the desert!  Everybody else is sweating like crazy, even like real life, you can see the pit stains.  These Nazis are in full-dress Nazi black uniforms and the head creep is wearing a full length black leather trenchcoat!

He whips out this thing that looks like a numchuck  (sp), flips it around with one hand and floop it’s a coat hanger.  I thought he was going to whack the French guy or, worse, Karen Black, on the head.  He shrugs off the leather trench coat and one of his creepy Nazi minions puts the coat on the hanger.  Whoah … did not see that coming!  He’ll shoot people and commit all kinds of other inhuman acts, but his leather trench coat – that’s important! 

Don’t screw with his black leather trench coat!

What did I take away from the whole movie?  What remains stuck in my head?  Not all the action scenes, not the ending where all the Nazis have their eyes burned out and they crumple into charred skeletons (or something, I always close my eyes for that ending – I hate horror movies).  Oh no!  I remember that foldable coat hanger numchuck thingy.  When I saw that, I thought, “Now that’s really neat.  That’s a tricky invention.  A coat hanger you can carry in your pocket, pull it out, wave it around and floop you can hang your coat on it.”

So now, you can see where my brain can hang out.  At my health club today (my Doctor makes me go) I walk into the men’s locker room.  My mind is dreading the forty-five minutes I have to put in on the rowing machine.  There is this guy packing up to leave.  He is just putting a coat hanger in his gym bag.  Let me briefly describe this guy;  shorter than me (maybe he’s 5’4”), portly (more so than me), I’d say about fifty years old and he’s got this lacquered down all gray comb-over.  And, he was wearing a nice sport coat and tie.

This coat hanger was a full shoulder width high-quality coat coat-hanger.  Had the wide bowl shaped shoulder ends, you know so it doesn’t make dents in the coat’s shoulder pads.  Not so easy to wedge into a standard gym bag.  But obviously he loved his coat and he was going to take care of it.  I am also certain he wasn’t a Nazi.  I didn’t say anything, but he seemed nice enough … I assume.

I believe if you have something nice, that is valuable – valuable at least to you – you should take care of it.  Quality lasts, good investment if you take care of it.  When I was teaching I often found myself at the gym in the evenings in my school blazer.  A Brooks Brothers blazer.

When I started to go bald I just went with a buzz cut.  But I loved that jacket.  Never once did it occur to me to bring a coat hanger.  I guess we all have our own unique system of values.