Exiting the Back Side of the Moon - Depression

Exiting the Back Side of the Moon - Depression

Depression as diagnosed in terms of being a real medical condition by ALL of the groups, organizations (and such) – just about worldwide – that deal with psychiatric or neurological conditions, state that this is a true existent condition.  This is NOT just sadness, not just moodiness.  NOT “just feeling down or blue”. 

Of course, everybody knows this by now and, by and large, accepts it.

A big question is what to do about it?  A ton of material on that is out there on that.  The heroic struggles we, as the ordinary public, are deluged with.  Heroic struggles with depression by famous people, or worse yet by people who become famous by making the public-at-large aware of their story (read: Heroic Struggle).  Note: Dear Reader, I am not famous, nor trying to be.  Actually, writing this blog is just part of my therapy and my own very humble manner of trying to help. 

All of that aside; getting off of “the dark side of the moon” seems truly impossible when you find yourself waking up there.  The medications?  Not my field. 

Writing?  Just spending an afternoon writing gets a small light shining.  A small ember in some dry weeds, waiting for a breath of wind, or just a breath of breath.  Getting it to turn into a small blaze.  Enough light and warmth to see at least to the end of my arm.  Writing is a creative outlet to help calm the bully-beast that seems to be my artist’s lifeblood.  It’s like having a passive-aggressive co-joined twin.  A pushy bully that is permanently attached to my spine.  Separation would be death, but daily life with this attachment is hell.

So babbling along on the written page is one method.

For me, is also what I call journaling.  Sort of a sketchbook with some poetry and random diddly thoughts as they cross my mind.  Although I do date every entry, or at least each day, I don’t think of this as a diary or as a sketchbook.  I have found that thoughts, thinking, can drive me just mental (wait!  I AM mental. “ha-ha”).  Just the intense ramblings of my brain, that never seem to stop – EVER!  Getting as much of that stuff  out of my head and on paper helps.  Partly because some deep part of me is horribly narcissistic and thinks thinking and wowy! My brilliant thoughts are world changing and super-didooper-important. 

That narcissist, and he’s a big one, inside me truly believes I’m a genius.  I can't help it if nobody else has realized it (smiley-face).  Note: Part of beating a bully is to face him.  Admit he’s there and you HAVE to deal with him.  So I basically use my journaling as a means of just dumping all that genius into something.  Amazingly, once it’s there in those journals, my brainiac narcissist lets go of it. It will allow me to let go of it and move on.

However, some years ago I did make the dedicated decision to avoid, as much as possible, negative ramblings.    

The problem with the mind, with human memory, is that it never really goes away.  The human brain is more like the Internet Cloud, once uploaded, it can never be truly erased from existence.  Once writ, it is carved in the stone of the ether.  So, keep the smelly crap out of your journal.  There is no need whatever to enscribe  (sp) the negative.  It just stinks up the good stuff.

The negative thoughts, the negative alien beast that attaches itself to your soul, a parasite can only be scraped away, occasionally sanded back, like a cetaceous mole.  It’s roots go deep, too deep, attached to the bone marrow deep.  Those thoughts will never go away.  BUT, all that can be compartmentalized.  Writing those thoughts, those experiences down, just gives them credence – it somehow gives them value.  I put them in a kind of like a mental old moldy gym bag and toss it into the back of the brain-closet.  There is actually kind of a pile of those old brain gym bags by now.  I don't know, I avoid looking in there, these days.

That being said,

 "Face the sun and you will not fear the shadows." - Ancient Aboriginal saying ...

Note: for the brave among my dear readers, I offer a new, separate but different blog:

Equations for the Joyous Mind

A study in a matter of theory and conjecture about human brain-mind development towards retaining ever increasing meta-cognitive development.  Based on Mathematics, and I refer to Base 3 Calculus. I wouldn’t expect a whole lot of people to give it a try.  But if you are in any manner open-minded and intellectually curious, the Math used is truly only a tool to condense the theory proposed. 

Thank you Dear Reader and Joy be unto you.

dalepeterson.us

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Just published  “Twelve Roses for Kathy – A journey on a motorcycle out of the darkness of bipolar disorder”