Tuesday, June 30, 2015

God, Cowboy Hats, Motorcycles

God, Cowboy Hats, Motorcycles



This whole religion thing – globally – has just gotten out of hand.

I suppose I’m religious, at least I think maybe I am sort of a Christian.  If I am, I can’t go for this six foot tall blue-eyed guy a lot of Americans seem to find in the Bible.  That’s just not possible, guys.  Ask ANY anthropologist.  Even supposedly, if he was fair haired and tall and ruggedly handsome, how would he have fit in in an area where almost everybody else was much shorter, dark skinned and had black hair – and almost certainly brown eyes.  He would have kind of stood out and I can’t see the general populace really trusting somebody who, to them, must have looked as much like a space alien as anything else.

Also, I can’t following any kind of a God who goes around smiting and destroying cities and demanding stuff, like sacrifices.. WTF!  If he’s any kind of a God and he wants something he can just poof it into existence – right?  But the main thing here is why all this yammering in today’s world about it. 

Also – why in American western movies are the cowboys’ hats always so new.  I’ve lived in Arizona and Colorado and all of the hot western states.  It’s HOT in the summer and cold as fuck in the winter.  Any hat you might wear is going to get sweat stained, really really sweat stained and dusty and if it ever rains, that kind of wool felt goes all limp and weird looking – plus it’s hot as fuck.  Did I say that; wool felt like that is really hot to wear around in the summer.  Straw is much better.  Then in the winter your ears are just going to totally freeze solid and break off. 

Did Jesus wear a cowboy hat, and if he did was it always new looking?  He did live in the desert … mostly.  Right?  I own several cowboy hats, given as gifts and purchased.  A good cowboy hat is tough!  It might droop when it gets really wet, but you just can’t wear it out.  I’ve had one for nearly fifty years and it’s still tough as nails.  It’s sweat stained – well, just plain stained – all over, but it’s still wearable.  Now that is a cowboy hat a real cowboy would be seen wearing in a real western.

So, I can see God wearing a cowboy hat and it always looking new, but not Jesus or a real cowboy.  Now I don’t know much about horses, but I don’t think you can ride them as flat out hard as cowboys are always doing.  Racing around.  Then there they are out in that scrub desert country and there’s no water and nothing but creosote scrub for the horse to eat.  ??  That’s gotta be why Jesus rode a mule, and slowly.  Or was it a donkey?  Donkeys can eat cactus, maybe even gravel.

I have a dog that will eat limp left over salad.  Why wouldn’t a donkey … gravel … I guess that’s stretching it. 

The Cowboy Era actually lasted only about twenty years, which is not nearly long enough to wear out a real cowboy hat.  It kind of reminds me of the Hippie Era, which only lasted, at most, ten years.  I know.  I was there – I was, or tried to be, a hippie.  1964 to about 1974.  Before “Saturday Night Fever” and John Travolta stomped, or danced, the shit out of Hippiness Cool.  Now I see all these teeny-bopper children trying to be Hippies.  Dope and weed didn’t make a person a Hippie.  It was, in reality, more about being anti-establishment.  With men and long hair and beards and women not wearing bras.  Wearing beards and Dashiki shirts and Indian toe sandals that stained your feet brown.  And being anti-war. 

Can you imagine being anti-war today?  You’d be thrown out of the country.  Or, this country anyway.  Americans are all into war now, not anti-war.  Us hippies had to be drafted into killing people.  Did everything we could to get out of it, including becoming Canadians.  Now young people are volunteering to do it?  That’s a switch in general thinking.  Everybody packing guns.  ??  !!!  ??

Not like it was all good “in the old days”.  It definitely wasn’t.  The country was as divided, and very harshly so, as it is now.  Just different hate going on.  Of course, as hippies, we never wore cowboy hats.  That was kind of a political demarcation.  Mostly we wore bandanas.  A lot of bandanas.  Even the dogs wore bandanas.  Now that I ride a motorcycle, I’m back to wearing bandanas, but I’m no longer seen as a hippie.  Just an old gray bearded guy on a motorcycle.  It’s kind of liberating, actually.

My motorcycle is like my old stained cowboy hat.  It’s got 52,000 miles on it and I’ve never cleaned it – not once.  I’m not really proud of that, but it does surprise me when people tell me “What a beautiful motorcycle.”  Really.  “What a cool cowboy hat.”  Really.


I wonder if God cleans his (her – it’s) motorcycle.

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